Day 36: I didn't want this.
Oct 6, 2010, 11:44 PM
cr: Temmy
"Appearance is just a disguise. Behind that veil, is what's worth it."
I couldn't stand looking at myself. What I see, is something much more than just a frail, twig-like body. I learned to accept my looks a long time ago. The fact that I'm unable to gain weight, I accepted that.
But...this, I can't accept.
As you get older, your skin gets thinner, but it takes a long process...right?
The fact that I was a malnourished child...
the fact that I'm awfully skinny...
including the fact that my skin is much thinner than an average 16 year old's...
That makes me hideous.
Usually, when someone's veins appear through their skin, it's a good thing. Meaning, the blood circulation is good.
But...
when mine appear,
I get scared.
..I'm disgusted by myself.
Just a small book can cut off my blood circulation in seconds.
Without even trying to pop my veins, they appear.
Honestly, if I was as careless as before...
I don't want to imagine what would happen.
I'm scared of myself.
The temperature on my hands always drop so suddenly.
It's worse than before.
My veins show through my skin.
It's disgusting.
Just a little prick can make me bleed.
I don't want to know the results anymore.
Blind me from the truth.
--☆::